Are You A “LOL” Whore?

I’m 100% certain you all have an e-mail address, most likely with Hotmail. Its like the T-mobile thing, one somalian guy gets it which means the rest have to follow like headless sheep and also go buy a T-mobile Sim card….actually I’m quite surprised most of you have managed to locate the place where you insert the Sim – Two claps on your back for that.

We all know with an e-mail address comes great powers. We are given the right to send electronic mail over the internet to whoever we wish. We can write about what we want and also receive mail from fellow elite “e-mail account” holder. Furthermore we can access online chat facilities such as AIM, Yahoo Messenger & MSN Messenger. Seeing as most of you use Hotmail, I will use MSN Messenger to base my facts upon.

You come tired from school, college (most of you) or university (not many of you) and decide to have something to eat. As soon as you have finished your dinner that your lovely mother has cooked for you, you decide to log on to the internet. Whats the first thing you do? I know, LOG IN TO MSN MESSENGER. Still…theres nothing wrong with that, I too log into MSN Messenger whenever I have internet access, its became a default routine.

Anyway, you see that you have 200+ contacts on (most which you do not know and are possibly pedophiles). You click on your best friends add and a few others and start your conversation with “Whts Gd” or “Wag1″. Your Friend(s) replies “Sup” or “Chillin”.

Now this is when it Gets interesting.

You start to have a conversation about your day, how interesting or boring it was (you choose):

You: Man Miss Jenny from maths is a bitch, shes making us do algebra again…

Friend: LOL, again? LOL

You: LOL, Yeah its getting boring, I nearly went asleep!! lol

Friend: LOOOL

Damn how many times have they used the word “LoL” already? 5 times in 4 lines of a conversation? I mean, its perfectly fine to use “LOL” but overusing it just kills it. Its like when you try to say “Im Rick James Bitch” – it’s funny when Dave Chappelle says it, not you. I’m tired of people adopting speech patterns, catch phrases, and their entire personalities from movies. When Jim Carrey’s “Ace Ventura” came out, every prick I know did their worst “allllrighty then” impression. You can still hear it echoed by smug school girls who try to compensate for their lack of personality and any semblance of wit by chanting this mantra so maybe you won’t notice that they’re lying whores. The worst is when some gabby bitch is the center of a party, and someone tells an awkward story, to which she’ll pause a beat, roll her eyes, then say “oooooookayyyyy!” Then she thinks it’s funny and she high fives all her snobby bitch friends who watch stupid shit like “Will & Grace”.

Similarly overusing the word “lol” (if we can even call it a word) makes you look more retarded than you already are, talking to PoPO (see picture below) would be more intellectually stimulative for my brain than your pathetic, limited, vocabulary.

To conclude:

If you do not use “lol” 5 times every sentence, then well done, you are 1 step above being a complete retard. If you use it 3 times in one sentence then I feel sorry for you because chances are you will forget to breathe during the next sentence your writing.

Views? Concerned Mother? How To get out of college in 2 years flat? Email: iownyou@xaasid.com

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